The Daily Bubble

Finally, a wheelchair that could win!

Porter Venn of Goofy Blog is on to something. He alerts us to two recent female-teacher-seduces-teen-boy stories and makes a keen observation: whether the teacher is smoking hot or looks like burnt kielbasa matters.

So with this situation, does society look at this as a legitimate crime? Legally they are both crimes obviously, but do people look at it that way? are they are equal and the same? The reason I bring this up is I would be willing to bet with case #1 (Pamela Rodgers Turner) most men would think the kid is the luckiest kid in the world, and with case #2, most men would think the kid was a victim. What do you think?

Definitely check out the pictures and add your $.02! Personally, I would like to be boy #1 and think teacher #2 should get the death penalty. It's for the common good.

You know you're an alcoholic when you drink 24 beers a day for 8 years - and don't throw a single one away!

It's been over three months since our last cannibal story, a Bubble record. Today, we're ending our streak with the first known case of internet cannibalism. The AP reports:

A man who admitted killing and eating an acquaintance he met on the Internet was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison.... Armin Meiwes, a 44-year-old computer technician, also was convicted of disturbing the peace of the dead. His lawyers had argued that the Frankfurt state court should instead convict him of the lesser offense of “killing on demand,” on the grounds that he was only following his victim’s wishes....

At the retrial, Meiwes renewed a detailed confession, telling the court his version of the grisly details of the March 2001 killing of Bernd Juergen Brandes at Meiwes’ home in the central town of Rotenburg. Meiwes said Brandes — who had traveled from Berlin after answering his Internet posting under the pseudonym “Franky” seeking a young man for “slaughter and consumption” — wanted to be stabbed to death after drinking a bottle of cold medicine to lose consciousness. He testified that Brandes, 43, had wanted to “be eaten alive.” “Otherwise, I would never have done it,” Meiwes, who captured the killing on video, told the court during the trial.

Still, the defendant claimed he had hesitated before going through with the act. “I wanted to eat him — I didn’t want to kill him,” he told the court.

It's coffee and donuts time. Enjoy your morning!

Here's another nail in the sexuality-is-choice coffin. Researchers report that a lesbian brain reacts to hormones less like a straight woman's and more like a straight man's. Anyone up for a game of "tie up the bigoted conservative and test her for gay"?

After the she married the fifteenth man, I doubt it's love.

• It's not easy to escape from cops in a horse and buggy, but it's possible.
• If you're going to have a heart attack and crash your car into a guardrail, do it next to a difibrillator salesman.
• It's gross to deliver pizzas and bodies in the same vehicle.
• Nasa thinks that one day road kill may cause a Space Shuttle crash.

If you think this blog is bad, check out the Dullest Blog in the World.

Prime Minister Chu emailed me her dream job:

Alarm One. an Anaheim-based company which sells and installs alarm systems, apparently has a variety of interesting motivational practices. For example, in one office, sales teams compete with each other and the winners get to ridicule the losers by throwing pies at them, making them eat baby food, making them wear diapers, etc. These motivational practices spread through other Alarm One offices and their Fresno office took it a step further by spanking sales employees who were late for meetings, who talked out of turn or who were not being productive enough. While the spankings were issued, other employees would watch, hooting and hollering. A 53 year-old saleswoman in the Fresno office, Janet Orlando, quit her job as a field supervisor after receiving three such spankings, which she found embarrassing. And now Alarm One is being sued by Orlando for discrimination, assault, battery and infliction of emotional distress.

Hope, come work with me any day! *SMACK*

The Republicans are starting a new war with a better chance of success: the war on dildoes. Ladies, do you like the thought of a the Community Police storm troopering into your bedroom and telling you what you can insert where? The General of this campaign, Rep Realph Davenport, deserves to have a life-sized John Holmes celebrity phallus propelled so fast into his better half that he tastes the brown stink of liberty-curtailing community standards.

Hope Chu, you've made my morning in a post appropriately entitled: goats! in motherfucking trees!

This is not a cheesy ad for some spray that will make your farmer's tanned body attractive to women. Researchers have discovered that how you present yourself in the first 30 seconds determines whether a women will keep you or drop you. Play your cards right, and you can create a new fountain of poon in half a minute!

How can you ignore the smell of rotting flesh for three years?!

Next-door neighbour Mickel Dobbs, who moved in two years ago, admitted he noticed a “foul” smell. He added: “Every time I opened my window I would see strange little black insects crawling through.”

In hindsight, that would be a sign. Although the article suggests he died of natural causes, I'd bet my money that the landlord murdered her. What landlord goes three years without receiving a rent check and says nothing?

Malaysia might be the only country where you can buy a child prostitute for $40 but cuddling in public will land you in jail for a year.

SAN ANTONIO, Texas - Texas has begun sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drinkers for being drunk, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said on Wednesday.

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