The Daily Bubble

Can you believe that THIS is Kevin Federline? Britney took him out of the trailer, and US Weekly took the trailer out of him. You can see more pictures here.

In the same article, K-Fed spits out today's quote of the day: "The same day Dick Cheney shoots someone, they've got me on the cover of msn.com."

Half of all Namibians believe the day Angelina Jolie gives birth should be declared a national holiday.

After much speculation, Britney Spears finally admitted that she was pregnant again with the spawn of K-Fed on David Letterman last night. I really am not surprised. K-Fed has magical powers that can impregnate women faster than you can say morning after pill. Congratulations to the happy family! I cannot wait to see Britney pregnant for a second time!

David's Two Cents: Rumor has it Britney's about to kick K-fed to the curb. Just listen to that alliteration! Here's what a secret source told Life & Style Weekly: "Brit’s been very unhappy, and I think she needs to find some peace. Once the Spears family gets its game plan together, the idea is to spring a divorce on Kev without warning.” And with a swish of Britney' pen, Kevin's crappy career craters.

This is not a joke. Or if it's a joke, it's on Tom Cruise. Here's testimonial from one loyal beta-tester:

He had just finished his perceptics training and was at the Los Angeles airport, preparing to fly home to the Tampa Bay area. He stood at a crosswalk with perhaps 20 others, including a woman and her son, an antsy boy 6 or 7 years old.

As the light turned green, the boy bolted into the street, ahead of his mother. Feshbach perceived a pickup bearing down on the boy, driven by a young woman.

He yelled and saved the boy's life by a quarter of an inch, he said.

Think about it. This man was standing on sidewalk and could actually perceive a pickup coming towards the crosswalk. Using Super Powers, he sensed that the truck was not at a complete stop!

Coincidence? Feshbach doesn't think so. No one else saw the pickup, he says. He believes that, through the Super Power program, he elevated his perceptive abilities beyond those of the others at that crosswalk. His enhanced perceptions have played out numerous times since, he said.

Do these super powers sound appealing to you? Hell yeah! If you are a rational person, there might be some roadblocks. preventing you from swallowing so much bullshit at once. But if you can get past that, a world of augmented senses awaits you. The St. Petersburg Times reports:

I give the Gawker people a 10/90 chance of getting out of hell. Their Celebrity Stalking maps are pure evil. And fun.

On Sunday night, during a fabulous episode of the Sopranos,Tony Soprano gave a shout out to Rick Santorum: "I agree with that Sen. Sanatorium, who says if we let this stuff go too far, pretty soon we'll be fucking dogs." Santorum's office responded that they won't "dignify that by commenting on it."

Dignify that, Mr. Santorum? You said the same thing two years ago, minus the F-Bomb. Do you seriously think that if a man touches another man's diddly-wank, pretty soon we'll be marrying off five-year-old girls to their uncle's Great Dane? No matter how much AstroGlide you throw on the slope, it will never be that slippery.

That's right, Tom Cruise: "I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there." Raw placenta? That's gross. Buffalo Placenta Fritata? Now we're talking.

In case you've never seen it, here's a bowl of placenta from some chick names Leslie:

Tom Cruise has clarified the record: Katie will be allowed to make noise during delivery. I have to say, I'm with the Scientologists on this one. Childbirth would be a lot more pleasant without the screaming.

It was impossible to predict that Britney might be a bad mother, just like it was impossible to predict sectarian divisions in Iraq.

Britney Spears and her husband are being quizzed after their baby son suffered a suspected fractured skull.

Six-month-old Sean smashed his head falling to the ground from his high chair. His injury emerged when Britney, 24, took him to a doctor six days later after he became groggy and tearful.

Suspicious medical officials filed a complaint to the Los Angeles child welfare department and the couple were questioned by investigators who were escorted by police.

Britney and husband Kevin Federline, 28, have been accused of poor parenting before. If found guilty of ill treatment or neglect they could receive a warning - or even lose their baby.

Are you turned on by the image of a nude Britney Spears on a bearskin rug giving birth to her firstborn child? Spears hopes it will stop you from murdering your unborn child. If you're going to be in Brooklyn between April 7th and April 24th, check it out - especially if you're pregnant. You can thank Prime Minister Chu for this disturbing news. She came across it while surfing the 'net for fetus photos.

Tom Cruise doesn't want Katie Holmes getting away too easily. “I’ve got Katie tucked away, so no one will get to us until my child is born — and until I want them to,”  He recently was quoted saying to Life and Style magazine.   Creepy. 

So is it or isn't it?  There has been much speculation on whether or not Britney's nipple is hanging out of her lovely dress.  What do you think?  Nipple or not? 

Britney Spears was photographed the other day driving her car with her infant son, Sean Preston, on her lap.  Is it just me, or aren't you supposed to put your baby in a car seat...?!?  She issued a statement to People saying that she "loves her son" and would do "anything to protect him."  I knew that she was a little dim, but this is just proves that she is closer to retarded.   

And yes, the father is Brad Pitt.  It is about time that those two finally admitted that they were together.  Congratulations, you two!   

The magazine reported the couple telling their lawyers that "a member of their entourage had threatened to release raunchy footage of the two" and that Spears feared that "an X-rated tape starring the two may go public," the suit said. The magazine also reported that the couple gave a copy of the tape to lawyers and watched it with them. The article appeared about a month after Spears, 24, gave birth to her first child. She and Federline, 27, married in September of last year.

Spears' complaint asserts that the entire story is false -- there is no such X-rated tape, no member of her entourage had threatened to release any such video and no such video was shown to the couple's lawyers. The suit goes on to say that Us Weekly has refused to retract the article and "is instead maliciously standing by the bogus story."

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