Fergie Back in the Running for World's Least-Talented Skank
Hope Chu Celebrity Watch | 08.02.05
Despite heavy competition from fellow-talentless-skanks Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, and with lesser-talentless-skanks Hilary and "the Other One" Duff nipping at her heels, Fergie pulled out ahead of the large and fast-running field of skanks this week by unleashing her secret weapon: a steady stream of piss, directly into her pants. On stage. While "performing". That's right, FERGIE PISSED HERSELF. In public. With no compunction. Whatsoever.
The Black Eyed Peas' Slippery Slope (Insert your own pants-wetting pun here. I won't. It's too easy):
1998: Behind the Front released. A fabulously catchy hip-pop album, not at all a portend for the ignominies to follow.
2000: Sophomore album Bridging the Gap released. Brings new meaning to the term "sophomore slump" and redefines "sophomoric" as an adjective.
2001: Fergie, future-public-urinator, brought on board. God knows why.
2002: BEP does the infamous Dr. Pepper commercial, during that short-lived period when the cola franchise was courting the "urban" market.
2004: Elaphunk released. "Where is the Love?" asks this listener of the once-pretty decent BEP.
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